Remembering the Church in Memorial Giving

Obituaries often serve as a final tribute to a person’s life, summarizing who they were, what they loved, and what they stood for. One commonly seen phrase in many obituary notices is the request: ‘In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to…’ What often follows is the name of a charitable organization, medical research foundation, animal shelter, or community cause that was important to the deceased. Curiously, what is rarely seen is the request to donate to a church — even when that church may have been a central fixture in the person’s life from birth to death. 

This is especially intriguing given the vital role that local churches often play. From baptisms to weddings, through illness and death, churches provide spiritual guidance, community support, and emotional presence. For many, the church is a constant companion at every major life milestone. The clergy often provides comfort in times of loss, leads funeral services, and ministers to the grieving family. Despite all of this, the church is often absent from the list of suggested charitable recipients. 

There could be several reasons behind this trend. One possibility is that people assume the church is already well-supported through tithes and regular attendance, and therefore does not need additional donations. Others may feel more compelled to funnel donations toward causes that seem more urgent or underfunded, such as a medical charity that battles the illness that led to the departed’s passing. 

Yet this tendency overlooks the fact that churches, too, rely heavily on the generosity of their communities to keep serving. Maintenance of facilities, staffing, outreach programs, and youth ministries all require funding. Perhaps people are also hesitant to suggest the church as a donation option because they want to honor a wider range of the deceased’s interests or causes beyond their religious affiliations. 

Still, there is something to be said about recognizing the enduring presence and value of a spiritual home. The church may not offer the drama of a cause-based campaign or the novelty of an emerging nonprofit, but it often stands as a quiet, unwavering pillar in people’s lives. A donation to the church in someone’s memory is not just about funding an institution — it’s about sustaining a community resource that shaped generations and may continue to do so. 

Maybe it’s time to revisit the phrase. Perhaps, alongside the heartfelt causes and cherished institutions, we should consider including the church. If it was there through every milestone, uplifting the soul, comforting the heart, and binding a community together, a contribution in someone’s memory feels not only appropriate but deeply meaningful.